Father's Day

On this day I can say I don't have a father. I have a subject that allowed his sperm to be a part of making me. It's horrible that I have to feel that way but he caused it to be. We'll leave that alone because that is pandora's box.

What I can't believe is that I offered up for him (ex) to have the kids today and he said I'll pick them up at 5. "there's nothing special going on" Does that tell you what he feels his role as a father is. It sure says something to me. If I didn't have the kids on Mother's Day, I would've asked to have them and fought for it. Oh well, you can't make a person be who they should be. I as a good mother, took the kids out and let them buy their father a present and card. I had Hailey send him a text message. I did not even get acknowledgement from him on mother's day. I refuse to make this a pissing contest. The kids are not old enough yet to do this on their own and I am going to show them even if we dont love each other anymore, you can be civil and do what is best for them.

I believe you lead by example. I have done this. I have stepped aside to make things easier on them but he has decided to be nasty. I will no longer step aside and I plan to do what I want with the rest of my life. I have plans, that will make us all happy, well the us that matters anyways.

This year is going to be the tell all, I have a feeling. Unfortunately, I think it will tell all to the children as well and it's going to hurt them. I will be there to pick up the pieces, I always have been. I had hoped since he wanted them to stay that he was going to be the father he needed to be. I had hoped this had opened his eyes to what is important but I dont believe that to be the case. I am sorry I made the decision I did and I pay for it everyday. The decision I am referring to is my kids staying with him instead of living with me. I know Hailey needs me but so does Jacob.

A mother can provide things that a father just can't. It's the nature of nature.