time marches on

You know I sit here and I miss him. The time seems to go on as though nothing is on my mind. I have the kids this weekend and I enjoy my time with them. I have a refrigerator full of coloring pages now, Hailey is an artist. I rented a few movies from the redbox. We watched "princess and the frog" and "alice in wonderland". I still have another movie to watch "love happens". It's a love story and I know it will make me cry.

He expressed that he thinks I will get tired of his working alot and find someone else. I assured him that their was no one else for me. I knew that day March 15th, that I had found my soulmate after all these years of wasting my time on a marriage that never should have been. He walked in and my heart jumped out of my body and attached its self to him. That first kiss was so intoxicating I couldn't have resisted him if I had wanted to. I didn't want to resist his embrace, I became so wrapped up in him it was like a movie.

So many things point to we should be together. I use to have this dream. A man with no face would come to my rescue. I could never see whom he was. I could feel his love and the warmth and comfort that he brought to me. He would wrap his arms around me and I would feel it would be ok. I don't have that dream anymore. It's funny every since I met him (A). It's because all the things that no faced stranger gave me in my dreams is now coming from a real live man whom I love with my whole heart.

I fell fast and hard. It scared the living crap out of me. I still have moments of sheer terror. I pray that he stays with me and doesnt find anyone else. I guess we both of the same issues. We both have had people in our lives who have made it difficult to not worry about the other wanting someone else. I'm giving that fear up. I will not allow it to sneak into my head anymore. I'm living with my heart, loving him with all I have. It's the only way that I can know I have given all of me. I want him to have all of me. I want him to know I'm never going anywhere. That he has given me what I have looked for all of my life. That he is the guy that I wanted, he is the guy, that was in my dreams as a little girl.

I always wanted a very caring, compassionate and loving relationship. I never had it. I never felt completely comfortable with anyone. I do with him. I miss him more than I could imagine missing another human being. It's been a few months, really not that long in the scheme of things but I feel like he's been in my heart forever.

Again, time is marching on and on. I know as our relationship continues on, we will both be assured that our love is that of forever.

Anyone who knows me, and reads this will think I'm crazy and vulnerable because of the break-up. Rest assure you all who know me, this is my heart talking and it has nothing to do with the other situations in my life. I was lucky enough to find that person who is speaking directly to my heart and making all this life worth wanting and living for.