Background

Well let's start off with a little background about me. My name is Carolyn. I'm 34 almost 35. I grew up in King William County, very country. It wasn't an easy childhood but I made it through it. I was sexually, mentally and physically abused by my father. Once my mother found out she sided with him. No you are not alone if this has happened to you. I got married at 17 years old to my husband of 17 1/2 years that I am currently separated from. No I'm not sad about it. It was a long time coming. A lot of things went wrong in my marriage and I could sit here all day and play the blame game. I'm not going to do that. I am starting this blog to document my life and to let other's know they are not alone.

This separation has been a good thing for me. I am finding out who I am. What I want out of life and depending on myself for all the answers. No I haven't sat around in idle waiting for the "right" amount of time to start dating again. What is the right amount of time? Who knows. I dated 2 guys that I previously knew from poker, my hobby. No It didn't work. They were not the ones for me. I signed up for dating websites. I went on one date with a guy from a site and he took me to a pool hall. Yes I said it a Pool Hall. He wasn't the one for me either. It wasn't the right forum to get to know someone. He was a nice enough guy but there wasn't any chemistry, at least not for me. We did talk and I liked his personality before we went out. I realized that it wasn't what I wanted during the date. I guess he knew it too because we no longer talk. I haven't heard from him since the date. I hope that he has found a nice girl for himself.

I was on a social networking website "mocospace.com". I enjoyed the site. I was friends with a few people. It's similar to facebook but it has chat. Now the story I'm about to start telling is of my current boyfriend. We will call him A. He asked to be my friend on the site and I sent him a message back asking why he didnt have photos on his profile. Well to make the long of it short, he had the pictures hidden. I did accept him as a friend and we talked. I got to where I looked forward to his messages on the site. He would send me a message every morning "good morning beautiful". As a woman we know how this feels. I was in heaven. I did give him my cell number but it was I guess a week before he actually text me to my phone. When he did I asked who it was and he said I'll give you one guess. Well I have to say I knew who it was but had forgot his actual name since I was use to seeing his screenname. He was disappointed and I explained what I mentioned. We talked on text for a few days. He then asked me to meet him, now it had been a few weeks of talking, getting to know each other prior to us texting.

I agreed to meet him. I am so glad I did. No women please do not take this as everyone on the internet is who or what they say they are because I'm sure some are not. I say be very careful. I allowed him to come to my apartment to meet me. Well I will say eventhough he was on the up and up, don't do this. I was so excited to see him in person. He came to my door I let him in and he hugged me and kissed me. I'm not saying kiss strangers either. We had talked about it and I told him prior to, if he felt like kissing me he could. I was already attracted to his wonderful personality and he was cute (saw his pictures remember). It was the most wonderful kiss, I was floating on air. Well the night went well, we talked and got to know each other more. He then asked to come back and see me again the next night, I agreed. He lives two hours from me so just for him to make the effort, I thought was great. We actually saw each other 4 times that first week.

We have chemistry, oh boy do we. He makes me laugh, smile and feel wonderful. He is a tall guy over 6 foot and big guy over 200 pounds. He is irish, red hair and tattoos. I am a tattoo girl. I love them and think if done well can be very sexy. I have one tattoo myself. Which by the way was a complete surprise to him. Our realtionship so far has been fast and furious. We really care about each other, well I love him. It has only been two months but its like a fairytale. For those of you reading this thinking.... she is just vulnerable and wants to be loved. You know you are partially right....we all want to be loved. I'm not vulnerable, trust me on this fact. My marriage was over for 2 years prior to us actually splitting up and we didnt even sleep in the same bed for 8 months or so before I moved out.

Ok now A, the boyfriend, thinks that he is not good-looking. Trust me I find him irrestible. He is sweet, passionate, funny, and does all the right things. I know I keep using that word "right". What does it mean? Well in this instance it means, opening doors, being nice and doing the small things. The way he looks at me, oh my, I melt. He has the softest touch in the whole world. He holds my hand, calls me baby, texts me morning, noon, and night. We laugh together and I enjoy his company so much. I am so glad that I took that chance and met him. It was definitely worth it for me.

All the time I spend with him is magical. It's not all the time, because he lives 2 hours away and I have two kids that I spend 50% of my time with. He has kids too, so he understands being a parent, which is great. He has been married before and understands the EX problems too.

This is all that I am writing for now. I will keep you posted on this whole situation. I hope to have a long fulfilling life, with my kids and my wonderful boyfriend A.